It has been several days or more since I posted here. I am to make this a daily blog but sometimes life gets in the way. A lot has happened over the past week or so. I have lived, learned, grown and been let down. But one thing I know for sure is my BULLSHIT meter is actually really good. And the people I connect with the best are the ones that play life relatively low key. I don’t mean they are quiet and shy, but they are not narsassitic ego-maniacs that think their shit doesn’t stink simply because they have snowed so many lost souls.
Just because someone will pay to listen to you talk about no longer being a victim and knowing how to live doesn’t mean you are no longer living the victim role.
There is a shitload of “psychology” bs on this topic and honestly, thats what it is. BULLSHIT. There isn’t one picture of what a survivor is. Just because i still use the word can’t doesn’t mean I feel or am acting like a victim. IT DOES however mean I literally cannot do something. I can meditate on something and be positive about moving forward but money does not fall from the sky.
I will put my positive energy out to the universe, I will work towards my goals, at my pace, as my physical limitations allow me. BUT know this, I have survived.
I am a victim of an abusive relationship and more importantly a victim of my own selfloathing and doubt. But that was then and this is now.
I don’t need to mention my “story” everytime I interact with people just to show I can talk about past shit without crying.
Every fucking thing I have been through has made me who I am today.
I am woman hear me Roar. I am also a proudly submissive woman that does not allow herself to be demeaned but instead embraces the pleasure i feel from being submissive. (Don’t knock until you have tried it).
YES, I allow 2 men in my life to have a huge amount of control over me. In return I get guidance, emotional support, love and satisfaction.
I am proudly submissive, by choice. I am not living as a victim.
I survived all the shit I did so that I can proudly embrace who I am. Don’t like it? Fine. Don’t follow me.
But if you want to hear a story of intrigue, sex, sensuality, sexuality, victimization, surviving and rising from the ashes like a Phoenix, then Follow me.
Blessed Be … and i hope you enjoy the future posts.