This was written several week aI have tried to write this many timesbut after my 20th MRI, I was so sick I couldn’t do anything. Now it’s 3am and I can’t sleep because of a stuffy nose, a sore tooth and as usual, too much on my mind. One of my gal pals posed the question “What are you really passionate” and then said she didn’t want to hear the usual answers of family, money, blah blah blah and for some reason that sparked a fire in me. Every morning I wake up, and thank God I can feel my legs, even if I am not sure what house I slept at. I look forward to my morning chat with one of my close male friends and we passionately talk about, gun control, which is always interesting because I believe in the right to bear arms, but I also think the current background check system is a joke, we talk about “east coast intelligencia feminists” and how certain aspects of feminism have really harmed relationships, we talk about the difference between a passive/aggresive person vs. A person who avoids confrontation(specifically in i,tomato relationships), we talk about how royally fucked of the health care system is, and we talk about SEX, yep I said it SEX, and all sexual preferences and fetishes. By the time he gets to work I am either exhausted and go back to bed or fired up and ready to write, but then realize writing, not typing, is very difficult for me because of my myriad of health issues. And then BAM, I am fired up again, because I have been told that over using the word disability is bad in terms of who my Target audience. But I also get fired up because there are only 2 people I have a close relationship with, that really understand each issue; Transverse Myletis, Migraines, chronic vertigo, chronic fatigue but the inability to sleep, the sexual intimacy issues that come with these ailments, and let’s not forget my spine and spinal cord are both fucked up.
So what really drives me, what am I crazy passionate about? The freedom to be Uniquely Unique. Not some “I wanna be different so I will dress like the “goth crown” or “we have a different kind of group where everyone is welcome and free to ask questions or raise concerns” but then you block a person for doing that. I am passionate about intelligent debates, in a forum where people can be anonymous or fly their freak flag proudly. I want to establish an environment where ALL are welcome and everyone can speak freely without fear of being blocked. I want to create a forum where everyone can proudly stand their ground, even if it means standing alone.